The voices in my head seem progressively worse, more: loudly provocative and decidedly stark.  I know what people always say about anyone who hears voices.  Am I going mad?  I’ve tried very, very hard to remember when they actually started but, for some reason, I can’t recall anything for the life of me; keep drawing blanks.  The voices always startle me at first, cajoling and contemptuously reassuring but steadily becoming frenetic and, ultimately desperate.  Then there’s times when they seem to attack all at once.  Those times are the worst, in; the middle of lonely, un-nerving blackness – not seeing nothing – even with eyes wide open, sometimes.  I close my eyes when the voices start ricocheting around my brain, then the darkness regresses deeper and the attacks are more relentless.  To-day they are much, much louder, louder than ever in fact.  I close my eyes, pulling the lids so tight, inadvertently squeezing tears out of overladen ducts, making me feel as if I’m crying – and I’m definitely not, not today.  Going into pretentious sleep mode hasn’t helped, made the darkness more foreboding, frightening in fact.  Opening my eyes was a mistake.  I closed them back very quickly because the light is too intense, so intense I lift my left arm, to; shield them from excruciatingly painful light.  It was then I began to realize what the excited voice was saying, it was Ghislane and she’s shouting: “Mom!  Come quick!  Call the doctor, call the nurses!  He’s woken up, oh my God!  I don’t believe it, mom!  He’s woken up.”  She seems hysterical, and incredibly flustered.  My vision steadily clears, from a hazy blur and I begin to focus.  I immediately realize: I’m laid up in a hospital bed, all bandaged up.

 

Ghetto Roodbwoy:

 

Sweet ghetto life is somet’ing else

Yout’ wear flash clothes, plus jewel’ry

symbolise br’uk- pocket wealth

Top the tree – run t’ings neatly

Every day going gym

Exercise hard building muscle

Goldfinger mean always win

Any game – slightest tussle

 

When you pick-up-mic dancehall cork

Big!  Cause you juggle sensimillia

Wolf-whistling, flinging sweet talk

Always, lurking ‘pon corner

Lyric-spit inspirational

Some say  rule Hip-Hop

Police stalk Dads like criminal

From gambling house to betting shop

 

Chilled when them call Roodbwoy

Sport broad smile and wickedest grin

Pretty gyal pum-pum must destroy

‘Nuff a’ ‘dem say, ‘he’s good-looking.’

Would a’ better if you went school

Secure good education

In certain company just fool

Who carry bad reputation

 

Start push-out chest like badman

A’ swagger with heavy pocket

Pure disrespect for everyone

Swear-word fly mouth faster than rocket

Them say you have chip ‘pon shoulder

Trouser half-way down you batty

To make things worse you’re the wrong colour

Guaranteed notoriety ….

 

 

 

 

Advertisements